


She'll Never Love You (Like I Can)

by wildgrapevine



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Rekindled Love AU, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4279470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildgrapevine/pseuds/wildgrapevine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She hasn’t spoken to her in three years.</p><p>She hasn’t seen her, hugged her, joked with her, kissed her, or Facebook stalked her in three whole years. Okay, so maybe it hasn’t been three years exactly since Octavia Blake wandered onto Raven’s Facebook page with the intent of checking up on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a prompt I pulled from my inspiration jar about Character A wanting to rekindle love with Character B. Exact prompt not available because I put it back in the jar and finding it again would mean going through a million inspirations which would inevitable result in a billion more Octaven fics which nobody got time for (except me, I do, lots of time).

She hasn’t spoken to her in three years.

She hasn’t seen her, hugged her, joked with her, kissed her, or Facebook stalked her in three whole years. Okay, so maybe it hasn’t been three years exactly since Octavia Blake wandered onto Raven’s Facebook page with the intent of checking up on her. Three years and three days are kind of the same thing anyway, right? She can’t help it if Clarke tags Raven in a photo or a status about firework safety and it pops up on her newsfeed in that little box Facebook _has_ to have designed solely for the purpose of Facebook stalking.

Blame Facebook’s design team for that one, not Octavia’s undying, never-ending curiosity about what her ex-girlfriend is up to. Couldn’t she just be checking up on her for the sake of making sure she’s alive? Raven _did_ have a pension for all things explosions.

Besides, it’s not like she could just come out and ask Clarke how the girl was doing. That would basically be screaming ‘help, I want her back!’. Which she doesn’t.

Octavia Blake does not want Raven Reyes back.

Except she does.

As much as she tries to shake off the feeling; cast it away and blame it on nothing but boredom and a longing to settle down which she lacked three years ago, it never seems to work like that. No matter how many blind dates Clarke sets her up on (and believe her, there was this one girl- _Anya_ , that could make you forget about _anything_ ), nothing succeeds in ridding Octavia of the feeling. That feeling being Raven. And love. And cotton candy, mushy fluffball, Tuck Everlasting, makes-you-wanna-vomit feelings of being in love with Raven.

She had lost her chance though.

Clarke likes to claim that Octavia really didn’t completely lose her chance until she refused to suck it up and interrupt Raven, as she packed her things into boxes, with a talk about _feelings_.

Octavia knows differently, though.

Her chance had become lost in the moments she failed to recognize the signs of Raven wanting to settle down, in the moments the mechanic brought up pets and joint bank accounts and engagement rings. The deal had only been sealed when those moments which Octavia didn’t take notice to led to Raven holding out a ring, wrapped in a question, decorated with hopeful brown eyes and a tentative smile. Clarke’s claim of Octavia’s stubborn refusal only signed, sealed, and delivered her lost chance.

So yeah.

She was an idiot (still is, depending on which of her friends you ask).

She hasn’t spoken to Raven in three years (minus that one time she had stupidly picked up Clarke’s cellphone without looking at the ID while the blonde was in the bathroom, only to hang up immediately at the sound of a confused voice she had lost familiarity with).

She had lost her chance on multiple occasions.

She chooses to actually utilize the seemingly useful and slightly stalkerish feature Facebook created basically for that purpose.

And most importantly, Octavia does not want Raven Reyes back (except she most definitely does).


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of probably three (got a little winded when it came to the second part because I'm Octaven trash, so decided to post in parts of 500-ish words each). Rekindled Love prompt from a jar basically. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, you can find me at teamomiamor on Tumblr, I'm always accepting prompts!

Clarke is the first one to figure it out. Of course she is. Octavia chalks it up to the blonde having both of them as close, mutual friends and knowing her better than she even knows herself. Then she remembers the look Monty gave her during their last ‘Montavia Night Out’ and she wonders if she’s just been that obvious all along.

Or Facebook’s Stalker Feature now comes with an Alert! Someone’s Stalking Your Profile option.

To her benefit, Clarke doesn’t say much. Octavia’s grateful for it and continues on with their morning workout as normal. Three miles running, twenty-five minute butterflies, the odd push-up and pull-up when she’s feeling particularly motivated. All the while blue eyes watch her carefully. She knows Clarke’s waiting for her to break. Everyone has their breaking point and Octavia realized early on that her breaking point happens considerably sooner than many of her other friends’. Lexa once told her that it wasn’t weakness that causes her to break, but strength, strength to face her problems head on in which not many people can.

Octavia thinks Lexa’s full of bullshit most of the time.

She’s lasted three whole years without breaking (considerably longer than she’s ever lasted before) and Clarke calling her out on her deep dark secret isn’t going to change that.

Her jaw tightens and she pulls herself up against the metal of the bar, the methodical breathing of working out keeping her thoughts from spilling out of her lips. She would not break. Not now. Not after all this time. Not after all she’s lost.

“You remember that one bartender at Grounders? Echo?” Octavia hears Clarke breath nonchalantly through the set of butterflies she’s doing and doesn’t need the girl to say anything else. She gets it. Raven’s started dating again (and dating again with Octavia’s favorite bartender at her favorite bar, yet at that). Clarke doesn’t need to fill in the spaces, although her mouth opens and closes, as if she wants to add something but can’t put it into words. Instead of laughing and helping her along, like Octavia usually does when Clarke looks like a fish out of water, she simply looks away and counts along with her breathing. Somewhere along the line, she begins counting her heartbeats instead.

Stupid, dumb, freaking idiotic, damn useless social media site. How did she miss the fact that Raven was dating again? Why did she even care so much? (That was a rhetorical question, obviously, because Octavia and apparently everyone else knew exactly why she cared so much.)

“Octavia. _Octavia_.” Apparently she zoned out for longer than she realized because now Clarke’s calling her name and Octavia hops away from the metal bar only to see the blonde with a towel around her neck and a water bottle in her hands looking more worked out than she remembers her looking. Octavia feels warmer than she had a few minutes ago too, but she’s not sure if it’s a result of the workout or the increasing tension pulling against her chest.

She shrugs and picks up her own towel and water bottle. “Sorry.”

Octavia doesn’t break. Instead, she saunters over to Lincoln as soon as he’s finished with his training session and asks him out.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rekindled Love prompt from a jar. 
> 
> Here's the long-awaited ending! Cliché times a million? Heck yes, it is. Enjoy!

Lincoln’s _sweet_. He’s quiet and thoughtful and listens to absolutely everything she says even when it gets a little melodramatic. She finds out he likes to draw in his spare time and hike and drives a motorcycle. He’s amazing and great and absolutely perfect. But he isn’t _her_ and somehow, he knows that too. How fucking cliché could this even get? While she isn’t about to write Raven letters every day of the year or build a house by hand for her, Octavia Blake is pretty sure this couldn’t possibly get more cliché than it already is.

And then a knock sounds on her door, echoed by a loud snap of thunder somewhere in the distance and heavy rain pelting against the windows. Octavia undoes the locks and lets the door creep open as it reveals a sopping wet Raven Reyes.

Cliché times a million? Check. Now all that’s left is for Raven to open her mouth and confess her undying lo-

“I’m not here to beg for your forgiveness or to profess some undying love shit,” The brunette opposite her mutters, stepping forward into the warm house as though she had never moved out. “You already know I love you, I think, I don’t know you’re really oblivious sometimes, and I’m pretty sure you should be the one begging for forgiveness.” Octavia finds herself dumbfounded, stepping back to allow Raven room to enter and shutting the door behind the mechanic as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She nods and stares. Stares and nods? Whatever she’s doing, it causes a laugh to bubble from Raven’s throat and Octavia is reminded of the most beautiful sound in the world.

The girl continues speaking, stuffing her hands into that damn dirt-orange jacket that she has obviously still refused to get rid of. There’s an awkward air about, but it seems like Raven lets it roll off her shoulders (much like the rain droplets seem to be doing every few seconds). “But I’ve already forgiven you, in case you haven’t noticed. Y’know, like that stupid saying your brother and Clarke use? ‘If you need forgiveness, I’ll give it to you’ or something like that? Whatever. The point is, I forgave you forever ago.”

Octavia toes the ground with her bare foot as she feels her face heat up. This was supposed to be her redemption speech, her begging for forgiveness and asking Raven to come back. Instead, she has to stand here listening to Raven take that glory even after she had pushed the girl away three years ago.

Then it clicks.

“Wait. You knew, didn’t you?” It’s a long shot, calling Raven out on knowing all about Octavia’s longing for what she had lost years ago. Maybe if she ends up being right they could brush away the awkward tension and everything would be out in the open.

Besides, it would explain how everyone seemed to suddenly know about her feelings.

Raven laughs at her. Straight up, honest to God laughs right at her. If Octavia’s face felt hot before, she’s sure it now has to be at least half-burnt (slightly better than the pie she once tried to bake for Thanksgiving at Bellamy’s, but slightly worse than the cake Raven once made for her birthday). “Of course I did, you idiot. It took you three years though, seriously? Monroe is probably rolling in her pile of hard earned cash right now. Clarke really thought you’d come around sooner and I… kind of hoped you would too.”

She could choose to focus on how all of her friends _bet_ on her stubbornness, but all she sees is Raven’s small, insecure shrug and the urge to smack each of her friends upside the head (although she knows this was probably Clarke and Jasper’s idea so she’d hit them the hardest), melts away. “I wasn’t ready,” Octavia responds quietly, the sound of the storm nearly drowning the words away. “But I am now and I know that’s not important because you’re dating Echo and who _wouldn’t_ want to settle down with Echo, trust me, I’ve seen her. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already bought a dog together or like, make little wedding scra-.”

“I repeat- you’re an idiot, Octavia Blake,” Raven shakes her head and steps forward, metal brace creaking with the leftover dampness from outside as she cups Octavia’s jaw and physically shuts the girl up with her mouth. Their bodies are pressed close and both of them ignore the condition of Raven’s clothes as they now transfer the rain droplets to Octavia, relishing in the silence which only last for a little while.

Octavia’s the first to pull away and she does so with a pout slightly puffed from the force of the kiss. “I’m not an idiot,” She starts before Raven gives her a pointed look and an eyebrow raise and all the years spent missing this, missing them, comes back to her. “Okay, okay, maybe just a tiny bit of an idiot. As long as I’m _your_ idiot.”

Raven nods happily and pulls Octavia into a fierce hug, letting her chin fall comfortably into the crook of the girl’s shoulder with a quiet laugh. “Of course you are. Echo was too smart for me anyways.”

 


End file.
